I have learned so much, doing this project and I am committed to doing at least a few more analog tape songs.
Ihave previously mentioned how much more planning one needs to do, working with tape than with a digital audio work station. In fact, one of the things I'm least happy with, regarding this song, relates to a lack of planing:
Listening, you will note that the glockenspiel, once it comes in, continues to play, without rest, until the song is complete. I did not plan that. It's a result of how it was recorded. You may also notice that the glockenspiel shifts from the right side to the left side and back again. Each shift represents and different performance, which will be made clearer when I post video of the making of this song. As I recorded, I felt like I took many rests on the glockenspiel, but as a listener, it sounds like it plays continuously, because the different performances are all playing at the same time and the breaks were arranged to give it a continuous sound, I just didn't intend it to be so continuous. So, you might ask, why not fix it now? Well, except to fix it in the mix, as they say, there is nothing I can do, because all the synthesizer parts are on the same tracks as the glockenspiel (not including the bass synth, which is on the same track as the drums). This is very hard to describe in writing. I hope it is clear.
Another thing I noticed, recording the vocals: I forgot how frustrating it is to wait for tape to rewind. It's a short song, but it takes almost a minute for the tape to rewind each time. I made many fatal mistakes when I was recording the vocals, and my hand just got into the old habit of hitting "stop" then "rewind" instantly, as the mistake occurred. The rewind delay was like a punishment for bad behavior, and really motivated me to "get it right". Twice, I thought it was "good enough", only to listen on playback and hear something terrible. That was crushing, to think it's done and realize it's not even close. I stopped getting excited when I thought I had a good take, and just practiced patience. I tried to use the rewind time to take deep breaths and collect myself, but not my thoughts.
I don't know if you heard the thing I heard recently (probably on This American Life) about slumps, where great athletes and performers suddenly start to suck, and once they suck have the hardest time getting good again. What's interesting is the relationship of slumps to thinking. Psychologists believe these people can't get out of their slumps because they can't figure out how to turn their brain off, how to stop thinking. This seems so counter intuitive, on its face, but actually confirms something I've long, long, long believed.
I first took up golf in 1995. I should also mention, I haven't played it since 1997. What blew me away about the game, aside from the fact that it's got this huge proportional curiosity about it (a giant field with a tiny goal), was the only way I could play, was to clear my mind. If I thought for even a second about hitting the ball, I would miss it. If I thought about hitting the ball hard, I would miss it more spectacularly. The only way to hit the ball was look right at it, but stare past it and erase all conscious thought from my head. It was so Zen-like. I instantly understood why it was so popular. It's better than alcohol for making the worlds problems go away, never mind that one often drinks during or after play.
What was interesting to learn on This American Life was that the same holds true for Pitchers in Baseball and many other high performance physical tasks. If our brains start working, our performance suffers. Try to remember that the next time you see a post-game locker room interview. I always felt there was a huge amount of truisms and nonsensical BS in those conversations. I'm more sure of it now. If the athlete is doing their job, they shouldn't really be able to describe how they were able to achieve or miss their goal. Asking them to do so is really an insult. However, it's expected behavior, so most of them acquiesce, lest they appear rude or arrogant. It's a dance that I have a very hard time watching without cringing. But I digress.
As a musician, I find my golf strategy serves me well. The more clear my mind is, the better I perform. Of course, doing things this way, I may be closing myself off to emotional nuance that more seasoned performers (ie: people who know what the hell they are doing) are able to evoke. But, anytime I think about my performance while I'm doing it, the whole thing falls apart. Like thinking about fingering and strumming a guitar simultaneously. As soon as I allow the idea in my mind, I can't do it. I can only do it by ignoring what I am doing.
One could say that the analog tape is actually making me a better performer on more levels than one. I have to perform entire songs without mistakes and I have to maintain my clarity even as the tape rewinds, which would be the easiest time to "leave the zone", if I let it happen. Working in digital, you don't get the chance to "leave the zone" because you can keep recording, even after you make mistakes. A fact I've often used that to my advantage. The best part of my performance is usually in the middle of the song (I have inertial anxiety, I get nervous at the beginning and the end of the song). So, in a digital environment, I often record the lyrics out of order and combine different takes for the final cut. I'll put each part of the song (beginning, middle and end) in the middle and use a series of "middle takes". It's not remotely possible with analog.
to be continued . . .
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